I think of myself pansexual – I’ve always found physical ‘types’ quite a limiting parameter. As a result, my clients are delightfully diverse, but they’re all smart, inquisitive people who care about connection. They’re often driven and ambitious, and have perhaps sacrificed quite a lot in service of their career. I enjoy helping them bunk off from real life and get reacquainted with sides of themselves they haven’t seen for a while.

There are plenty of secrets I plan to withhold from my official biographer, your personal details included. I’ve built an impeccable professional reputation on the basis of my discretion, and I will only ever ask for screening information as a means of ensuring my well-being. I have happily signed NDAs for high profile lovers with additional concerns, and can answer any questions you may have about how I store sensitive information.

Oh yes. If you don't believe me, ask my friends. Despite a misspent youth exploring all that erotic submission has to offer, these days I’m decidedly more dominant. I’m excited by play in which I take the lead, and explore a lover’s potential as my new plaything. I’d like to learn exactly what makes you come apart at the seams.

Unlike the Trojans, I’m always delighted to see a man bearing a gift. My favourite tipples are Brut Champagne, white Burgundies and good whisky (just nothing too peaty). I wear Miller Harris perfume, specifically Hydra Fig in the day and Rose Silence at night. I am always delighted by sensory delights: your favourite book, a scented candle, interesting ceramics, buttery soft leather and Bordelle lingerie. I also worship at the alter of Aalto, Eames, Knoll and Wegner, and have yet to acquire a Noguchi.

No tattoos or piercings as of yet. I prefer more of an ‘all natural’ aesthetic, and I’m saving the cosmetic surgery for when I grow old disgracefully. I don’t tend to wear heavy make up, and generally dress in a chic yet understated way, so as not to cause too great a scandal on the next door table. Minor scandal however, I enjoy.

In a word: No. I am not a takeaway restaurant, so I don’t publish a check-list or menu of activities for you to simply pick from. I’m extremely kink friendly and always curious about new erotic landscapes, but prefer we talk about it together, like normal people.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, I find the idea of ‘reviewing’ deeply intimate acts for total strangers incredibly gauche, so you won’t find these online.

However, my Uber rating is 4.89 (because I always tip) and looking at my glowing Airbnb feedback, you’d have no idea of the absolutely scandalous things I’ve got up to in them over the years. And If those two facts don't sufficiently convince you of my kindness, charm and discretion, nothing else on the internet will.

Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Also butt plugs.

Is anyone?

Phenomenology aside, I appreciate that one ought to keep an eye out for catfish in this day and age, but rest assured, I’m genuine. You can check my twitter for selfies and updates, and you’ll see from my Friends Page that I’m fortunate enough to keep company with a host of the finest London independent escorts.

Ambassador, you spoil me! What a rare and cherished gift, and one that would make my heart thrill. You can send this to me directly here.