Perhaps you’ve heard about me? Good things I hope? Or maybe a few very bad things indeed.
I’m Louisa - independent escort, critically-acclaimed kisser and highly civilised pervert. I’m known for having a wit quicker than Dorothy Parker in a stolen Aston Martin, and for an accent that manages to make dirty talk sound even dirtier.
I was born in London, but was packed off to boarding school somewhere far too rural and quiet. Dreaming spires followed, to study extremely useful things like Shakespearean metaphor, modernist poetry and how to bullshit your way through a tutorial when you’ve only read half the book.
But underneath all that tradition lies an unconventional sensibility. I’m generally the last one standing at an orgy, and the thrower of debauched county weekenders once described by a friend as “terrifyingly fun”. I like thinking about desire and sex almost as much as I like doing it. I have a body of creative work about kink and sexuality behind (yet another) pseudonym and an obsession with seeking out the subversive in the everyday.
I’m many other things too: A writer, a talented martini drinker, a passable squash player and a Sunday morning crossword enthusiast (preferably while naked). I’m comfortable in my own skin, in a way that I hope enables others to be too. I laugh easily and often, especially at myself and Chris Morris. My extracurricular activities include Pina Bausch, BDSM, minor trespass, Daphne DuMaurier, beautiful hotel suites and fitting other things in my mouth besides the silver spoon.
But why this world? I’m not really in it for the money - although I’d be lying if I said the money didn’t turn me on a bit. I’m here because it keeps me interesting and interested and because it takes me places I wouldn’t otherwise go, with people I wouldn’t otherwise meet; because I’m more friendly “with the buttock of the night than with the forehead of the morning”; and because it feels genuinely exhilarating to be the kind of woman who meets society’s disapproving stare straight on, throws back her head and laughs uproariously.
To wit: I’m particular about who I spend my time with. I prefer lovers looking for an equal rather than a pet. I have my own tastes, preferences and ideas and - shock, horror! - I’m not shy about making them known. For me, attraction is about much more than just aesthetics. I’m in search of fervour and intimacy, soul and substance. And never, ever cookie cutter.
Feel the same? Have your people call my people.
